My First Panic Attack

Part of me knew it was impossible I was having a heart attack. I’m 24 and healthy and it is my father who just had the heart attack, not me! I know very well heart attacks are not contagious.

But I surely felt like I was having one. The pressure in my chest was unbearable. I felt so cold and like I was not really there. It felt so much like I was dying. I was too scared to think whether this was likely to be a heart attack or not. I couldn’t stop thinking about how my parents would react to the news of my death, how I was leaving them alone, childless, no longer having a daughter to be proud of.

I’m ashamed to even consider it was “just my nerves”. And it’s not like I was worried about my dad’s heart attack or even thinking about it at the time. All I had in my mind going in that elevator was how I needed to work hard and efficiently to get up to date at work and make sure my absence had no negative consequence in my productivity. Now I’m really worried my mental health will get in the way of me having a successful career.


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