All my plans and ambitions are now out of reach.
Having a baby is supposed to be the best thing that ever happened to me. But knowing that my husband, family – and society at large for that matter – expect me to be happy makes me feel even more overwhelmed.
Am I supposed to completely forget about all that I wanted to do in life in order to take care of a baby?
How am I supposed to raise Emma knowing that all her plans will be shattered when she has a baby of her own? Well, I am determined to tell her from the very beginning that she has to do with her life as she pleases and only have babies if she really wants to. But how is she going to take that? Will she think I don’t love her? Here I go again, the worst mother in the world.
It’s good that I now catch myself when I’m thinking so negatively, and that I’m able to stop. Just stop thinking for a while, take a deep breath and try to think about this in a more rational manner
Are all my plans out of reach? This might be a good thought to challenge. It does make a lot of sense that I have no motivation now if all things that motivated me before feel unattainable.
I’ve learned that extreme words, like “all” can be tricky. So one thing to challenge could be whether it is really “all” my plans that are out of reach, or only “most” of them, or maybe even only “some”.
“Out of reach” is also quite a black or white way to put things. I might be better off thinking how much harder it will be to get there. Maybe I won’t be able to do all of them.
Here’s a picture of the Thought Challenge exercise that helped me cope with this better: