With the help of my therapist, I’ve clearly understood the link between my thoughts about not being a real man and my feelings of depression and anxiety.
At first it seemed very obvious to me that I was not a real man. Of course it depends on what I mean by that. But I never thought that was a statement worth questioning. It’s like a rule of life, right? If you can’t have an erection you are not a man. Period. Not the kind of stuff you “question.” But I’ve been feeling so miserable, and thinking this way is not helping.
In this Thought Challenge exercise I write all the reasons why I might not be a real man (the supporting evidence), and then I write all the reasons why that might not be right (evidence against the statement “I am not a real man”). After considering all the facts I come up with a more balance statement. It does make a lot of sense that being a real man is not a black or white thing. Like one minute you are the real thing and then next minute you are nothing. I guess you could at least say that some people are more real man, or more manly, than others.
Here’s my first Thought Challenge:
Learn how to challenge your won thoughts watching this tutorial:
Thought Challenge Tutorial